A Tribute to the Dutch aka Rachel is extremely angry

As I am about to pull my hair out in frustration over my upcoming Cameroon trip/the associated project. To release some of my anger without bashing any world regions/countries and express my increasingly deep appreciation for Dutch people and the general pleasure it is to work with them, I give you a tribute to Dutch.

Dear Dutchies,

I crossed continents and oceans to come to your small country unfortunately mainly well known for its special "herbal" products. I came from countries where punctuality, planning and directness are not valued as highly as in your grey and flat land. Oh Dutchies I appreciate how when we agree on tasks and distribute work, there is a very high probability that you will do what is agreed upon and in the time frame agreed upon. When I send an email I can expect a prompt response in clear and understandable English. But if there is some problem, I know I can directly express my concerns without risk of damaging our relationship. This directness makes our final product of the best quality.

Dearest Nederlanders, I love how meetings are conducted efficiently and generally people accept responsibility for their actions. It is a pleasure to not have to talk in circles and in the end get minimal information out of a conversation. Perhaps you are not the most expressive in word and deed but your words and actions are valued.

Yes, you do take your precious agendas a bit too seriously. While I am not fond of scheduling a social lunch months in advance, I do appreciate your organization and ability to follow through with a plan. More importantly, although it is often frustrating how seriously you take your work life balance and your tendency to immediately dash out the door when working hours are complete, I love that when you are working you actually get work done.

Finally, although email, phone, sms, and the dearly beloved Whatsapp messaging service are less personal than face to face interactions, you have embraced all forms of communication and respond in a timely, clear manner without me resorting to every communication method known to man.

Your plain and bland food may not strike my fancy, but precious, precious Dutchies I would give anything for one of you to be leading this Cameroon project.

with kindest regards,

a Rachel who may be becoming quite political uncorrect or even worse: racist!

Present

A few weeks ago I came to a both exciting and frightening realization: every single minute, hour, day of our lives are 100% unique and we will never experience that exact moment again. On the one hand this is an intimidating and frightening thought but on a more positive note it makes one realize how special the present is, even if we may be counting down the hours, days, weeks, months to a seemingly more exciting moment. The concept of living in the present is something we could take a lesson or two from stereotypical African culture. While living in the present there often means meetings starting hours late, perpetual tardiness to work, and the tasks left uncompleted; it also means impromptu visits from friends, stopping all to do lists (I'm still skeptical that the concept of a to do list even exists there), and simply taking the time to chat with people even if it means being late for something. Living in super organized, scheduled, punctual, consistent and efficient Holland where socializing is scheduled months in advance (I am not exaggerating here), being late is frowned upon, completion of tasks is assumed, and holidays are planned practically years in advance has mostly been an easy transition since I also have an obsession with planning and control (in the broad sense). Although in recent years I am lucky to know where I will be living a few months in advance I am still constantly making plans and looking forward to the next adventure.

Approximately a month ago now (where did the time go?) while enduring the grueling exam period that stretches on forever here, I had the astonishing thought to simply stop counting down the days and number of exams left until new things began but to actually sit down and ENJOY the process of studying and the sometimes challenging task of exam taking. This was indeed a revelation since although I thoroughly enjoy the school environment and learning and reading and listening, I am actually quite horrible at sitting down and studying. So far I have managed to survive by constantly changing my study environment and mostly just cramming all the information into my brain the night before an exam (yes, I know this is what everyone says not to do). In spite of my dislike for studying during my first exam this year a thought popped into my head: "I am incredibly lucky to be sitting in this room simply taking this exam!" Shifting my focus from one of just completing everything, to trying to enjoy the moments of studying with the knowledge that I am exceptionally privileged to be able to study and more importantly realizing I will never be in this exact situation again in my life, made for a surprisingly pleasant exam period.

Last year when I wrote my annual year summary I left on the note that perhaps this year would be uncomfortably "stable". While I have spent the whole year theoretically living in the same city, 2013 certainly has brought its share of travels, adventures and surprises. But perhaps more importantly I am starting to become more comfortable with the notion of simply enjoying every moment I have and not stressing about my next plans or destination. In light of enjoying the present and being thankful for all the moments we get (and in the spirit of American Thanksgiving) I leave you with a few things I'm thankful for:

-A lovely visit from the best mother anyone could ask for. We discovered the picturesque and fairy tale like veggie capital (most vegetarian restaurants per capita and even a meat free day at schools) of Europe (Gent, Belgium), wandered through various Dutch cities, and visited a few too many natural food stores.

-A cozy apartment with friendly roommates (even if some of our roommates are perhaps three generations of mice)

-Opportunities for travel (recently: Freiburg, Budapest & Tunisia)

-A healthy body

-The opportunity to study

-Biking as my primary mode of transport

-Being debt free

Back to living in the present---which means writing a 3000 word paper that's due tomorrow and hasn't even been started...

Pumpkin and Procrastination

A mountain of reading to do, a report to write, one assignment to finish, a long list of emails to send for thesis contacts, research to do, plane tickets to book, cleaning to do, a holiday to plan with my mom... But I'd rather procrastinate and share a few thoughts and links (mostly about food).

• Freiburg, Germany just entered my list of top cities. Mountains, fall colors, plaid wearing environmentalists, mountain bikes, vineyards, farms serving fresh food from their crops, a market with delicious local specialties, scores of vegetarian friendly restaurants, the sunniest city in Germany, and the hub of green party activity in Germany. Ironically, I nearly applied to a master program here 2.5 years ago. 
• I am beyond excited about this website: http://www.eatwith.com/ . You can cook for and host people or eat delicious food at someone's house all over the world. Cooking, eating, and meeting new people=brilliant!
• In case you're in need of healthy food inspiration, want to procrastinate by drooling over pictures of delicious food: http://www.thisrawsomeveganlife.com/
• Looking for a healthy and delicious snack? Soak some dates for an hour or so, throw them in a blender with your nut of choice (I recommend raw cashews), some cocoa powder (high quality is best), coconut, chia seeds, flax, cocoa nibs or chocolate chips, and anything else you want. Mix away (hopefully you have a better blender than me), roll into balls, feel free to roll the balls in coconut or cocoa powder then immediately consume! Try not to eat them all at once!
• Pumpkin is delicious. And more delicious when you go through the tedious process of preparing it yourself. So ditch that canned pumpkin, go to a farm, buy a pumpkin and cook it yourself! Try pumpkin soup, curry, burritos, flammkuchen (after my recent visit), pie, bread, muffins, cookies... and don't forget to roast the seeds. 
• Eat your beets. But don't panic if your pee is red. 
• The dense, seedy, nutty, and wholesome goodness of German bread cannot be beat. It's totally worth it to lug around "bricks" of bread back to the Netherlands. 
• Understanding German and Dutch is quite gratifying and makes unplanned and long train delays very amusing. Observing how stressed and uptight Germans get when things do not function right and how Dutch resort to sarcasm and jokes to make the inconvenience more tolerable is entertaining. These two neighboring places could often not be more different. I love them both in their own ways. 
• Speaking German with middle aged Germans is fun! Speaking English sentences in a German way by accident is funnier. 
• European food gets progressively tastier the further south you move. 
• Sharing is caring (food, drinks, clothes, beds, rooms, money, ideas, love)
• The economic crisis is not the fault of the republican or democrat party alone but the result of a faulty economic system. Go read this book: From Financial Crisis to Stagnation by Thomas Palley. Let's stop all the name calling and blaming and change the system! 
• I am going to to Budapest in a week in a half, Tunisia in about two to learn about smart grids, and my favorite mother is coming three weeks!

Happy fall and happy studying to all the students out there! Enjoy being a student while it lasts! 

Priorities and Mosquitos

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

This quote is the best summary of what I've learned over the last three months. To attempt and summarize my busy, awesome, educational, fun, inspiring, and mostly insane summer in a blog post is impossible. I don't know who is still reading this blog but perhaps many of you know that two of my biggest passions involve preserving this beautiful, unique and perfectly designed world we live in, and seeing the quality of life improve for all of earth's citizens. The intersection of these two passions is the primary reason why I chose to study in Delft rather than going the more usual route and attending one of the world wide ranked American universities (although Delft is also ranked internationally). Although the social and political atmosphere in the Netherlands and Europe in general is also riddled with barriers preventing the widespread movement of mitigating climate change, it is a far more encouraging environment to begin actively seeking solutions to most pressing challenge that perhaps humanity has ever faced. 

Besides travels to Norway, hitching hiking to Paris, a conference in the US, a whirl wind visit to friends and family, and attempting to sort through fifteen years of life, I spent five weeks of my summer attending a summer school on climate change and entrepreneurship and upon return to Delft immediately focused my classes around the complex issues surrounding sustainability. The summer school surpassed my expectations, primarily because of the people I met, but most importantly the last three months have forced me to ponder my priorities. I say that I care about the environment, but over the last three years I have made far too many short and long distance flights, an activity that significantly contributes to global CO2 emissions. I desperately want to see the sustainable electrification of the continent of Africa which has led me to my current Cameroon off grid lighting project and the business idea that came out of the summer school. However, I also desperately want to see the political decision making and discourse dramatically change in the US. As I contemplate my plans for next year and strongly consider the possibility of continuing studying (PhD!) and begin the frightening and overwhelming task of writing PhD proposals, I realize I need to give some focus to my life. As much as a love meeting new people, I also need to prioritize the people who really mean something to me. As much as love learning, it is impossible to learn about everything and work in every area. As much as I love traveling, can I really continue flying as much as do and ignore the environmental impact that flying has (side fact: jet fuel is not taxed, which is why it is often significantly cheaper to fly rather than take the train within Europe)?

I am convinced that we are not too small to make a difference. So I am going to start taking small steps to make a difference. Before I go back to attempting to write a detailed PhD research proposal, I leave you with some snapshots of the summer (and a bit before). 

The Less Traveled Road

I'm an extremely mobile person. Plopping down in a new and foreign place is generally a pretty effortless and exciting task for me. Perhaps too effortless. But as I'm about to finish the school year (finally!), bringing about a new set of changes and transitions (although I will fortunately still be in a Delft for a bit longer at least), I realized I'm getting really attached to my life here and this flat, grey, little country in general which is a frightening concept for a person who feels most alive when I'm meeting new people and exploring new places. I'm getting attached to:

• Hopping on my bike and riding around to any place I need to go on the well organized and separate and FLAT bike lines. Any distance that is less than 15 km from my house is faster to reach by bike 90% of the time. I've taken this ease of transportation for granted and I'm too keen to lose it any time soon. 
• The small and friendly health food store near my apartment. I pick up my weekly bag of fruits and veggies, buy my quinoa and beans and appreciate how the employees now recognize me and take the time to inquire about my well-being. 
• My precious, precious Greek roommate. We get along so incredibly well I've almost forgotten how fortunate we are in this sense. Not only do we get along well but she is one of my dear friends here. While I have no plans of losing her, we will VERY unfortunately not be living together next year and every time I am reminded of this fact I get extremely sad. 
• My football team. Joining a football club where many of the members have played together for nearly ten years might seem rather intimidating. But my teammates and the club atmosphere in general is welcoming, inclusive, and positive. I'm immensely happy that I'm finally playing the sport that eluded me for so long! 
• Dutch directness. I've always erred on the side of speaking my mind too freely, but I've come to the conclusion that although we certainly need to pay caution to the words we speak, being direct saves so much time and confusion in the end! Working in Korea with a culture where the word no was practically forbidden, was beyond frustrating. I've taken for granted that I can get a direct answer to my questions and I don't have to doubt people's sincerity. 
• My bike (s). I recently purchased a racing bike (his name is Joop--pronounce Yoop) so in addition to my rickety city bike that gets me from place to place, I've been taking advantage of the flatness of Holland and the well developed network of bike paths to cycle! 
• Borrels. There is no proper English translation for this common Dutch word. The best translation would be something like cozy drinks. The word "cozy" or gezellig is very rooted in Dutch culture. Having a biertje (small beer) with friends after football or after a long day of courses and studying is so much a part of Dutch culture and I can't imagine life without borrels. 
• My classmates. While I think we drive each other crazy half the time, we are also a close knit and friendly bunch. Next year we will all scatter to either study abroad, do different specializations (meaning different courses), or do graduation projects abroad (me!). I'm sad that our little group will split and I will dearly miss this funny, smart and diverse group.

As much as I love the experience of being in a new place and being inspired by new people, I actually HATE change and saying goodbye. How this is possible, I don't know. So while I'm thoroughly looking forward to my cram packed summer and the reunions and new faces that it will bring, I'm also thoroughly dreading the goodbyes and see you laters and closure that will occur in the next few weeks. The transient life is not an easy one.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–I took the one less traveled by.  And that has made all the difference.”
- Robert Frost

Spring? Summer? Or Winter?

Hello friends, stalkers, family and anyone else who might happen to be reading this blog. I am in fact alive just a bit busy. The past few months have passed by in a blur of report writing, exams, reading, traveling, hosting visitors, playing football, running... Instead of attempting to write a coherent post (since I have enough writing to do over the next few weeks) I'll give you the bulleted version with pictures.

MARCH
I managed to survive 25 years of life. In Dutch Happy Birthday is "Gefeliciteerd" which directly translated means "congratulations". I find it an amusing view of making it to another year. Also in March I popped over to London for a quick weekend visit to my dear friend and old roommate Lindsey while she visited her sister who was studying abroad in England for a semester. London is a fabulous city full of delicious food, FREE museums, EXPENSIVE transport (and food), good shopping and lots of other things I did not have time to see. Fortunately, I will actually be back in the city for three weeks end of August (more on this later). Before London, I also ran the flatest half marathon of my life (lucky since my half marathon training was sub-par) and somehow managed to win a 60 euro gift card (way to go Den Haag Tenloop for having a student prize category).

APRIL
I spent most of April locked inside a library writing and studying but once it was all over I popped over to a fairy tale like village in Germany to visit a friend then returned to the Netherlands just in time to join in the sea of orange clad partiers celebrating the last Queen's Day celebration in a long while. For those of you unfamiliar with Queen's Day, it's a Dutch holiday devoted to the queen only now we have a king in the Netherlands so "koninginnedag" will be Koning Dag next year.

MAY

After Queen's day, I took the advantage of having a visitor to experience quintessential Holland and go for a lovely 45 km cycle through tulip fields, along the sea, and through quaint Dutch villages. Then, I set off on a warm weather escape (since the weather in Holland seems to still be confused what season it is) to Greece with my precious Greek roommate. In spite of lost luggage, Greece was perfect. Being fed excessively, beaches in Crete, hospitality, ancient ruins, and most importantly SUNSHINE! 

And since May is almost over what is in store for the next few months? The next few weeks will be filled with studying, writing, and researching, then end of June I have the amazing opportunity to attend an all expenses paid for one week class in Trondheim Norway! My semester finally finishes July 1st, so after two hopefully somewhat relaxing weeks I am US bound to present a paper at a conference in Boston, then Michigan for a week to sell/throw away my old life there (in case you hadn't heard--the family is slowly moving to California over the next year), and finally Michigan to Munich beginning of August for the start of a summer program in climate change and entrepreneurship. I'll finish off the program in London for three weeks and then back to Delft to start a new semester. I feel confused and stressed just writing all this down so if you managed to figure out my plans by this incoherent paragraph, I'm extremely impressed. 

There are probably 10,000 English and grammar errors in this post but it's finished! 

Home

It's almost exactly one year since I boarded the plane to Uganda. My dearest fellow intern reminded me of this fact yesterday and it got me to thinking and feeling a bit nostalgic. I should be doing a million other things right now but I felt the need to spew out some of my thoughts into semi-coherent words. Lately, perhaps because of my impending quarter of a century birthday, I've been continuing my contemplation of home and the direction of my life. A brief review of my life would show that it's clear I've never been one of those oh so lucky people who had a pretty clear path from the beginning. My life "plan" changes approximately every day and my plans never work out the way I envision either.

Certainly, my generation is one of wanderers. Our priorities and goals have shifted and we have opportunities at our fingertips that our parents didn't. But regardless of the lifestyle changes of my generation, there is something to be said about having roots. Perhaps you travel the whole world and stretch and grow and scatter some seeds in different places, but there are still roots to hold your ever growing leaves and branches in place, to allow you to weather a storm, to remind you of who you are. But the concept of roots is difficult for me. Yes, I have clear citizenship, I have a place in the US where I have spent a significant amount of time (and it is significant!). But when someone asks me where I'm from and I'm forced to specify a state, it makes me pause. How do you really determine where you're from? Where you've spent the most time? Where most of your friends are? Where you identify the most culturally? Where your family is? I would  give a different location if I answered each of those questions separately. Over the last week, I've interacted with old friends, new friends, random acquaintances and strangers and the common theme of the week has been home. One wise new acquaintance told me that you always return home and kept asking me where home is. When he was finally exasperated by my unclear answers he said: "find a place then and make it home".

Human beings want to belong somewhere. I think I have been gifted with the talent of being able to adapt very effortlessly in many different environments--the ability to make any place my home. But, increasingly I have this desire to find a place, or at least accept the life of a nomad. Even for me it does get tiring constantly making new friends, packing and unpacking, and often explaining myself to people. There are very, very few people in the world who know the full Rachel and with each new place I move the number of people who really know me does not increase. What makes up Rachel instead constantly changes, making old friends unfamiliar, and new friends familiar.

I've loved all the places I've lived. I've disliked parts of all the places I've lived. And I've perhaps too harshly criticized all the places I've lived. Maybe I will find a place. Maybe I will grow roots. Or maybe I will simply let people be my roots. I will let strong friendships allow me to weather storms and make me feel secure. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that places can be taken away from you and perhaps I'm stronger by putting my trust in God and friendships than becoming perhaps too comfortable in one place.

Back to work! And this old post is also what sparked my thoughts (even though it is a bit unrelated).